I don't believe

It's everywhere

In praise or cursing

Arguments

Do you or don't you

And the judgement

That goes along with that answer

A kind of lusting

That first mesmerizing glance

Something sinuous

That makes you look again

Through half shuttered eyes

Because the pull is too strong

Everyone must notice

But the rest of the world 

Skitters on past without a glance

And you want to scream

And shake the strangers

Who don't notice the magic

Winter

A dull yellow verging on brown

Evidence of winters hold

Over grass and trees

And a tighter grasp

On the homosapiens

Unable to hibernate, to rest

Like other animals

More naturally accustomed

Calming

Unbidden it begins to creep

A smile breaks open

And splits my face in half

The pent up angst

Frustration and anger

Seeps away as the buildings

Disappear and morph

Back into a world

Of green and tree trunks

Injustice

Like a pebble

Hard and solid

It begins

At the base of my stomach

Below my navel

.

Cannot be confused

With the sweet heat

And warmth of

Tender touches

.

This one, it builds,

Layers of lava

Bubbling out from that pebble

It bubbles and burns

Solidifies

And each new layer burns

And pierces

.

I scream and cry

Impotent in such

A vast sea

Hungry comfort

Clutching and groping

For support and comfort

A world where everything

Was perfect and nothing

Made your soul burn and crash

.

The world would come back

But the memory

Would wash over me

And satiate my need

I could keep going

Satiated

Her exhausted breath

Indicative of sleep

Sends a smile across my face

And skitters shivers

Along my bare flesh

Over my breasts and stomach

Down to the apex of my legs

Still satiated I can fall back asleep

Beside her

Educational

Educational conversations

Over family lunch

Information fed over

Glasses of wine

Laughter and clinking

Numbers dwindled

And information changes

And mutates

So when we leave

I feel thoroughly educated

Stoic

Stoic

She listens

With her words

Clenched between

Teeth and tongue

Melissa

Tears come unbidden and run

Down the dichotomy of my features

Memories flood my every sense

She walked out,

hair hanging down

Still hidden from the crowd

And now,

Half way through the first song

I am weeping from love and warmth

The comfort of lonely nights

And those moments

Long and desperate

That would have seen me giving up

But for that voice

That passion, and those words

Losing

Sickeningly sucking tear

I feel my insides pull away

And the shell

Stands back and watches

Numbed by fear

Scattered

Can't pin my brain done

Not nearly enough

To grasp a concept

An idea of beauty or evil

Visibility

The symbol shines and becons

I imagine a chorus praising

The day had been bleak

But here it stands

Making an unbidden smile

Streak across my face

Five splashes of purpose

And I feel able to carry on

I am reminded

I don't fight the war alone

Its yummy

Black and white

Broken apart by tanned flesh

I ache to mould it

In the palm of my hand

Time doesn't kill or tame

The beast that rises at the very sight

Of her skin, her movements

Too often hidden in shapelessness

But I see and touch and smell and taste

The beauty of her secrets

Saved

Walking to the rhythm

Of the husky voice

A savior over and over again

.

I shout along in my head

And smile for the world

To see, but smile

Just for me

.

Because I feel rescued once again

Liars

It sends a shock

Like a slap across the face

The stinging lingers

Long after the impact

You are shell shocked

From that moment on

And when that gaping chasm

Opens again you mistrust

The very darkness