Heavy

Heavy and thick

I sit bloated and swollen

The thwunk of the uneven road

Lulling my eyes

Already heavy with unnatural colour

Lower and lower

So I feel the tickle of my lashes

Against the skin beneath my eyes

Restringing

Viciously removed

Unplucked and unwound

To the rhythm of someone else's desires

There is a hollow sound

With each movement

And breath

And then a silence

Tick

Tick

Tick

Slowly the packets are opened

One at a time

The care given with strong

Agile hands

Caring and knowing

One by one they restring

Soothe and heal

Coffee

Too long it has been

The bitter sweet taste

Upon the tip of my tongue

It caresses my mouth

Like a long lost lover

And sends my nerves into heaven

Decisions

Hooks of dirty rusted steel

Bite into my flesh

And send me soaring into

An agony that cannot be relieved

Through itching or ignoring

I feel my limbs start to give

The pain and ache too much

For this frame to bare

Another piece is taken

Sickness

With her fevered brow and pink cheeks

She clenches her tiny fist

And holds tight to my shirt with all her might

Her strength ebbs and fades

But the fist remains clenched

To her new found security

I kiss her forehead and feel the heat

It radiates with unnatural power

As her head pushes closer to my chest

"I know honey!" I whisper

As I begin to rock back and forth

Feeling impotent to her tears

Hope

The teetering steps

And the smile

That spreads across the entire face

When nothing seems certain

And you question everything

That open honesty calms the nerves

The steps, uncertain but excited

Come closer

And I drop to my knees

Hands rest and cling

At the edges of my shoulders

And I squeeze back

Pain

Sharp and needle point

My eyes squint

And my muscles tense