Too much electricity

The world has been in crazy disarray. Perhaps not so extreme but change is definitely not something I deal well with. Quite frankly it brings out the worst in me. I like to know the way things will go, I like a smoothness. But being the contradictory soul I am, I also get bored quite easily. So, I am difficult to please.

There have been a lot of changes of late, and it just doesn't seem that there is a light at the end of the tunnel - or perhaps there is but I'm terrified that it is a train.

I read about these amazing characters who are strong and determined and always know what to do, who they are and where they are going. My characters always turn out too much like me and lately I haven't written anything about any of them because I think one version of me floating around is quite enough thank you.

Don't take me the wrong way. I love my life. I love my partner and I love my best friend. I feel grateful every single day that I found the both in the one person. I am excited (and terrified) about what the future holds. The plans we are making for our lives together entwined and parallel, our desire to start a family. These are all amazing things, but not having control over some is sending fear finger tipping up and down my spine.

I'm also aware that I am feeling weighed down and as though I am buzzing with too much electricity running through my veins.

Perhaps it is merely my inner writer screaming to be listened to. It's time to pick up the pen and paper again