Today, someone I admire quite a lot told me that I was one of the strongest people she knows. She also told me, that what I am doing, she simply could not. I wish I could say my first reaction was a warmth of love and appreciation for recognition that life at the moment is not the easiest for me. I wish that I could even say I felt a sense of blushed embarrassment.
However, what I felt overwhelmingly more than anything else was that I am a fraud.
I do not feel strong, I do not feel like what I am doing or going through isn't something that others could and do go through. And they do it with a lot more grace, charm and ease then what I am managing.
It was lovely and kind of unexpected to hear that from her, but I still have this gnawing sense of being 'found out' at any point.
No comments:
Post a Comment