Insemination

On Thursday we had our first insemination. It was an unexpectedly amazing experience.

The lead up to it however was not so much fun. A few days earlier to the insemination I had a major melt down of sorts. I had not slept without night terrors until last night. The melt down was because of demons in my past and it hurt that somehow they can still have such an effect on me. It's true, the effect was less then it has been in the past, but it still angers and frustrates me that they still have any power at all.

I'm feeling better on that front.

The insemination was a miraculously personal and gentler experience than I thought it would be. Frankie was able to be the one who actually inseminated me (so I can still blame him in delivery(;). As a lay there afterward we had time just the two of us, and it was a small moment that meant the world to me.

Since the insemination I have been in near agony. Pains in my stomach have been crippling me and making me worry that something has gone wrong. I'm trying to keep focus on the positive but it will be two weeks before we know whether or not we have our little stranger ... It will be the longest two weeks in memory.